It
will be two years, this coming Christmas Eve, that Jo Ann Castle has been
Mrs. Roeschlein. Now, she and her husband are the proud parents
of a little boy, Billy, (now four months old) and the future is filled
with bright hopes and dreams that seem realizable. Yet, even today,
Bill can remember a very special evening, before they were married, that
was not joyous, an evening when Jo Ann cried before him and poured forth a
whole storehouse of feelings that she had kept inside for so long.
It's a sad memory, but one that's filled with love...The first time that
Bill visited Jo Ann's home, he saw the photos. You really couldn't
miss them. They were strategically placed around the living
room--pictures of a little girl from infancy to early childhood.
Bill studied them. There was certainly no mistaking whose baby she
was! He knew that Jo Ann had been married before, but she'd never
said anything about a child. When Jo Ann came into the room, Bill
turned to her, "you have a lovely daughter." Her eyes
lingered on a large photo. "Thank you." bill asked,
"What's her name?" Suddenly, Jo Ann seemed to be
struggling with the words, "Deana," she said. "Bill I
have to tell you something. My little girl was born with
cerebral palsy. She can't talk, walk, or even hold her head
up. but I love her so very, very much." Bill took Jo Ann
in his arms. He tried to soothe her, to ease her tears. "
I understand," he said softly. "I understand, Jo Ann,
dear..." Today, Bill admits that, at that moment, a bond was established
between them that just couldn't be broken. Bill says, "When I
met Jo Ann, I wasn't looking to get married. Like her, I'd been
married before, when I was twenty-one. The marriage lasted two years
with no children, no regrets. But I never thought much about
marriage after that."
"Jo Ann had been married for five years (to TV cameraman, Dean Hall). I think, like me, she just enjoyed dating and didn't look for marriage in a relationship."
Everything
In Common
"But the more I saw of Jo Ann, the more I realized how compatible we were. We seemed to have terrifically similar tastes. Night clubbing, horseback-riding, swimming, staying home and watching TV-anything and everything was fun. So I started thinking more seriously about marriage, but I wasn't about to put my cards on the table. I sort of played it by ear, waiting for her to make the first move. Finally," he grinned a little shyly, "I did push my point. I told her one night, 'If I ever got married, you'd probably be the kind of person I'd like to be married to.' I don't remember what she said--but it wasn't revealing. Jo Ann always kept her feelings in check. That is, until that evening when she finally showed me her home, and her heart..."
"After that, a few weeks later, I'm sitting in my apartment and the phone rings and it's Jo Ann. And she says, 'What do you think about getting married Christmas Eve?' When I got my voice back, I said, 'I think it's great.' That's how it all came about. Three days later, we were off to a Vegas wedding.
"Jo Ann needs someone to lover her; someone to worry about her and take care of her. She's probably the world's worst businesswoman. She's 100 per cent heart. If a total stranger handed her a good enough story, she'd give away her last dime. But of course," he said softly, "that's one of the things I love about her."
"I
didn't marry Jo Ann to change her. I married her for what she
is. I would never want her to give up her career and just stay at
home, even now that we have the baby. My main goal is for her to be
happy--and entertaining is one of her biggest joys. The Jo Ann you
see singing and playing the piano--that's really her. She isn't
putting on a 'front' for a minute. She loves it as much as it looks
like she does. Money has nothing to do with it. I've seen her
put everything she's got into a show she's doing for nothing. Jo Ann
is simply not a half-way girl. In anything!"
Because Jo Ann really puts her heart into everything she does, she'll make a wonderful mother to her new son, as she has been to her little girl. But it took Jo Ann some time before she could make this commitment to have another child. Naturally, she was fearful. Bill understood her feelings. He knew that religion was an important source of strength to her. When they discussed the possibility of having children, he urged her to pray for the faith necessary to believe she could have a normal child.
"I tried to give Jo Ann the courage to accept and understand her personal tragedy. I knew that she didn't condemn God for what had happened to Deana, but I also knew that she lacked faith in herself. When she would talk about Deana, for example, she would just blurt it out--real cold, cut-and-dry, almost hard sounding. It was because, if she talked softly, she'd start to cry."
"Deana was awfully sick just a few months after our marriage. She had great trouble swallowing and she picked up something that turned into pneumonia. We had to rush her to the hospital." His face tightened grimly, remembering. "Thank God, she's all right now, but it was pretty bad for awhile. Jo Ann was very shook up. I was with her the whole time, but I was still very grateful that she also had her faith to hang onto."
Perhaps Bill also had to convince his wife that he really loved her little girl--accepted her, cherished her--before they could plan on a future family. At any rate, it was something that took time to work out.
Jo Ann, newly-wed, thought that her husband deserved all her attention. Children, she said, would wait until after they had time alone together. So, she worked busily on the Welk show, and returned home to cook dinner, talk, perform wifely duties for Bill. It seemed like it would be many years before they would be parents.
When a woman rejects the notion of having a baby, it is difficult, if not impossible, for her to conceive. The psychological factor is often the main one in explaining childless couples. There is no surer example of this than when a woman who has adopted a baby, because she thought she could never have on of her own, suddenly finds herself pregnant.
And Joyous News
Something similar happened to Jo Ann and Bill. Perhaps through fear, Jo Ann had pushed the thought of having another child into the distant future. Bill, too, had gone along with her. In his own memory, there was another childless marriage. Though his past marriage had been brief and un-happy, the fact that it was childless may have been a hidden cause of concern for him. He may have wondered if, indeed, he could have a child of his own. He may even have discussed this fear with Jo Ann.
So, when both had banished the subject of having a child, when it became only a thought in the back of their minds, the "accident" occurred. At least for two people who had concerned themselves with the problem for so long, it may have seemed like an accident, or a miracle. Suddenly, they were going to be parents!